Monday, January 28, 2008

A Lighthouse for my brain fog?

I live in a sort of brain fog. This is the most difficult aspect of the disability that I deal with. I can, and do, work on my physical body through stretching, strength training, cardio, and physical therapy with tangible results. I can feel my body getting stronger and more flexible as the days pass.

The brain fog, however, does not lift. It's worse on days I am feeling weak and tired but never better. I have been told that it can get better but may take "many moons"- to quote the last neurologist I saw. The silver lining is that my cognitive skills and memory are intact.

I have seen several neurologists for my minor brain damage. When asked to describe my symptoms, I said "It's like being totally, sh*t-faced drunk all the time, without any of the fun." I slur my speech, have no sense of balance, my hands tremor, and my vision is all shaky. Each doctor nodded in understanding, since alcohol adversely affects the brain resulting in similar symptoms. Ironically, I had stopped drinking alcohol 6 years ago, but I still remember it's effects.

Lucky for me, I have someone who loves me and will not give up on my getting better. Jack continuously researches the topic of cerebellum damage and possible treatments. One treatment I partake in is mild Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (mHBOT). I have been taking 1-2 dives a day in the chamber while breathing in pure oxygen for the past few months. While I haven't noticed any changes in my neuro condition, it sure gives my vitality a boost. I have many days when I feel whipped and have no energy. A chamber session, which lasts 45-60 min, improves my stamina markedly.

Ultimately, I have to practice patience and give my body time to heal. My days are often filled with frustration, but I have learned to take a deep breath (or two), shed a few tears, and then regain my determination to make progress.

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